Friday, September 14, 2012

The Name Game

Only 29 days until Cori and I are pronounced Wife and Wife xo

NYC Love <3

Today, Cori and I ventured to City Hall in Manhattan and we filed for our marriage license. As of this moment, we hold actual paper documentation that states we can legally marry in the state of New York. In one month, Cori will be my bride and I will be her bride. Even more, we will be recognized as a married in the state of New York, as well as any other U.S. state that recognizes marriage equality. Some people say that marriage is just a piece of paper, but when your human right to marry is threatened, encompassing that little piece of paper holds so much more value.

While filling out the marriage license form, we were asked if we planned on changing our last names. Cori and I ultimately agreed that we would keep our own last names, but for formal purposes, we would use my last name. Cori and I both knew that we were the type of girls that did not want to part with our last names, regardless if we were marrying a male or a female. For us, we feel as if our last names is a significant part of our identity and autonomy. Traditionally, changing one's last name to your spouse's last name was a sign  of ownership, which doesn't genuinely reflect our relationship. 

NY Marriage License Approved!

As mentioned before, we plan on using my last name for formalities. This is to keep things simple for our friends and family. It would be a lot easier to write "Ms. and Ms. Walpole" as oppose to "Ms. Petrushonis and Ms. Walpole" when addressing letters, invites, cars, and e-messages. Additionally, if we decide to have children, they would share my last name as well. We came to this decision for a couple of reasons:
  1. My last name, Walpole, is a lot easier to pronounce than Cori's last name, Petrushonis. We haven't attended one event, including college graduation, where Cori's last name wasn't completely butchered. Fingers crossed that her last name is pronounced correctly as our wedding! 
  2. My mother and father each have one child from a previous marriage. My father has my older sister and my mother has my older brother. Together, they had me, which leaves my father with only two daughters. My sister made the personal choice to carry her husband's last name and my brother holds his birth father's last name. Cori thought it would be a noble gesture to allow our future children to carry the my family's last name since her father has two sons and one other daughter. 
There is no right or wrong choice. Every couple needs to make the choice that is right for their relationship and family values. We are very interested to know what other couples are planning... Keeping or changing? Combining or hyphenating? Maybe creating a whole new last name?  Feel free to share! xo

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  1. Me and my soon to be wife (2 weeks and 3 days to be exact) are very lucky. We have the same last name!
    If we had different last names, we would most probably each keep our own.