Friday, April 13, 2012

Intimate or Grand Wedding?

How do you determine a wedding guest list?  It’s not easy.

In a perfect world, Cori and I would love to invite everyone we’ve ever met to celebrate our wedding, including our wonderful readers. Unfortunately, we had to be a little more realistic due to the fact that we are not multimillionaires and our venue can only hold approximately 300 people. Secondly, Cori and I vastly differ in what we view as the “perfect” number of guests. Cori is conservative in the respect that she would love to have a small intimate wedding, approximately 50 people. I, on the other hand, love the idea of having a big lavish celebration, fully taking advantage of the 300 cap for our venue. How do we settle such matter? Compromise! We finally decided that we were going to invite no more than 120 people.  This “magical” number was decided last year when we first became engaged. Fast forward to the present and not surprisingly our final number increased to 180 guests.  

Here is the breakdown:
  • We decided to invite first generation family only, which would include our immediate family, as well as first generation aunts, uncles, and cousins. I have a huge family and this isn’t even counting second and third generations. As for Cori, her first generation family is a lot smaller in size. 
  • On my father’s side, I have four uncles (one deceased) and one aunt. Each of them is married and has children, in which I have a total of nineteen first cousins. On my mother’s side, I have two uncles (one deceased) and no aunts. My living uncle is married with no children and my deceased uncle has four children. 
  •  As for Cori, on her father’s side, she has one aunt and uncle, in which none of them are currently married. Her aunt, whose husband is deceased, has one child and her uncle who is divorced has one child. On her mother’s side, Cori also has one aunt and one married uncle.  Cori’s aunt has one child and Cori’s uncle has three children. In total, Cori has six cousins.
  • Both of my grandmothers and grandfathers are deceased. Both of Cori's grandmothers are alive and both of her grandfathers are deceased.
  • Once we decided on family members, we then invited a handful of friends that we hold dear to our hearts.
  • Everyone is allowed to invite a “plus one”.

Children versus No Children

We ultimately decided to have an “adult only” affair, in which anyone under the age of 16 will not be invited. We chose not to invite children because the parents of the children would not be able to enjoy the wedding. It would also be hectic to have kids running around. Not to mention, no one likes a crying baby or a fussy child during the ceremony. We love kids, but we didn’t feel that it would be appropriate to have them at the ceremony or reception. 

In conclusion...

Our guest list is almost pushing 200 guests, but we feel humbly grateful to be faced with the dilemma of exceeding our guest limit. Many same-sex couples are abandoned by their family and friends due to ignorance and unwavering beliefs about marriage and family. Our friends never ceased or minimized their relationships with us and our families (minus the few who resolutely believe that Cori and I need to pray for forgiveness) remain unreservedly supportive.  

Brooklyn Engagement

Only 5 more months until we are pronounced wife-and-wife! xox


  1. We are having 30 for our ceremony & day, and about 100 for the evening - we don't want have so many people that we don't get to spend time with them, so we just want people who are important to us there :) and we are definitely stating to our guests that no children are invited - like you said, we don't wait crying babies during our vows or children running around during our first dance, and I'm sure it's not the kind of event children would find fun anyway!
    And wow 5 months will go so quick, how exciting!

  2. OOh yes how tricky! Seems like you ended up at the ideal number. No idea how many we'll decide on inviting ah! How exciting!!!

    & yes- wish we could go ;)

    M x

  3. So very happy for you two. Hope you two have an amazing wedding and a wonderful life together.

    xo Tami